Surviving the Storm

I’m not going to pull any punches; it really hurts to lose a partner. Death is incredibly painful … not for the ones dying, but for the ones staying behind. Nobody can understand exactly what you are going through, because you’re the only person that lost who you lost. However, please understand that there are millions of people at any given moment in this world who are in a great deal of pain caused by grief, and that there are billions upon billions of people throughout time who have passed through what you are passing through. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

The good news is that, while you may not think so right now, YOU WILL BE HAPPY AGAIN! The feelings of pain and absence in your life will one day turn into sweet memories. The day will come that you will be able to tell others of  your loved one, and actually smile when you do. Of course, you will always miss your beloved departed, but the pain lessons, and slowly blossoms into gratitude for having been blessed 

to have him or her in your life … even if it wasn’t for enough time.

The best news is that when loved ones die, they don’t go far. They are much closer than you think. Many of you may be able to feel their presence, or see signs that they are with you. Perhaps you will have special visits with them in your dreams. I will write more about these special “moments of recognition” in the upcoming chapters.

I had no idea that the pain of losing my spouse would be so intense. There were many times that I wasn’t sure that I would be able to endure the suffering I was going through, and I certainly didn’t think that ANYONE could be hurting as much as I was. I felt that nobody had ever lost a spouse that was as loved as Malinda was. I was in my own pain, and I was in it very deep. I needed to find a way to stop the inability to breathe, the continual stomach cramps and tightness in my chest. I wanted relief from that sick, helpless feeling of waking in the morning, hoping it was all a dream, and realizing that it was real. I needed comfort, because the grief was so intense and so relentless. And sometimes when I would feel a little consolation, the grief would creep up quietly from behind; I rarely saw it coming.