I have to say that there is definitely true love after loss … in good time. I do have relatives and friends who have found other soul mates after losing a spouse, so I know that it’s possible. I would exhort all my readers, however, to go slow and cautiously. I have a story to share, and I’m sure that I’m not the only one who has passed through this type of experience. I now know that it was a great learning tool for me.

About six months after Malinda died, I received a call from an acquaintance that I hadn’t seen since junior high school. She knew both Malinda and I years and years ago, and she said she called to express her condolences. She explained that she, too, had experienced the pain of grief, and that she understood loss. We agreed to have lunch. When I met her at the restaurant, I was taken back at how beautiful she had turned out to be. We talked for hours and it wasn’t long before we met again. Somehow in my lonely mind I decided that this girl must have been sent by Malinda to end my painful loneliness. I will save the details for the book, but suffice it to say that I was gravely misled, and she took me on an emotional roller coaster ride that left me with a broken and confused heart. I realized that she knew of my vulnerability and did all she could to take advantage of that. It was the day that she asked to look in my safe deposit box at the bank that I started to catch on to what she was doing. The big irony in all of this is that when I told her we needed to end our relationship, she screamed at me and told me that I was not “worthy” of her anyway, as she was a daughter of God and I did not qualify to have her.

Malinda had not sent her. As a matter of fact, it was Malinda guiding me from her spirit home (in a miraculous way) that kept me from making a very big mistake.

My point of this post is to let the readers know that while we crave company and affection after we lose our love, we must proceed with caution. Everything that glitters is not necessarily gold!

NOTE: I have been blessed to find someone to love, and who loves me back. It took a great deal of searching, and some tough learning experiences, but I learned that I am capable of loving again … and so are you.

In the prologue of the book I promised I would not pull any punches, and just tell it like it is. This is one of those topics that I would much prefer to sugarcoat, but I won’t. After losing a partner, the pain seems unbearable in the beginning. Each breath is an effort to take, and there is no visible light at the end of the tunnel. Everyone has to discover where they can turn for relief, even if just a tiny bit of it. Gradually you will start to be able to tell someone about your partner without crying. Little by little you will think of them and smile at the sweet memories. You may begin to realize that you are recovering from your loss (and you are). But just when you least expect it, something sets off a “trigger” and you feel as though you’ve been plunged back into the depths of despair. See the Rest of this Post »

I believe I’m doing quite well in my efforts to move on with my life. However there are still challenges, one of which has been particularly evident lately. I lost my wife 23 months ago; close to two years. Right after her passing, and the subsequent few months following, friends and family were so supportive, reaching out to gird me up, for which I will be eternally grateful. However, many of those who grieved with me in the beginning have returned back to their normal lives.

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Spirits can let us know that they are around. When we lose our spouse, partner or loved one, we don’t really lose them. One of the most beautiful truths about death is that there is no death … there is simply a separation of the body and the spirit. When our training time for this terrestrial life comes to a close, we simply step out of our vessel of clay and continue on with our eternal life. We don’t take any physical belongings with us as we make the transition, but we do carry the knowledge we gained while on the earth, as well as the emotions and love that we feel for those we leave behind. See the Rest of this Post »

I found out that my wife would not survive her cancer about 48 hours before she made the transition. I had two days to contemplate her departure. She was in so much distress, that I wanted her passing to be swift. Because I loved her so much, I wanted nothing more than for her suffering to be over. See the Rest of this Post »